Red Tent Sisters

Holistic Reproductive, Fertility & Sexuality Solutions
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
  • Appointments
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
  • Appointments
  • Blog
  • Contact

Blog

Expert, sisterly advice on women's most common sexual and reproductive health questions.

  • All
  • Coaching
  • Contraception
  • Eco Sex
  • Eco-Living
  • Fertility
  • Holistic Health
  • Menstruation
  • Natural Birth Control
  • Parenting
  • Relationships
  • Reproductive Health
  • Self-Help
  • Sexuality
  • Uncategorized
Motherhood_phixr-2

When plans change: Kim's reflections on her future as a mother

Kim March 19, 2013

One of our favourite bloggers, Leonie Dawson, recently wrote a post called “On Choosing to Only Have One Kid.” She’s got a huge following and often writes about intense, juicy stuff and yet this is her most popular post ever. There were oodles of comments thanking her for being brave and for sharing her story so honestly. The overwhelming response really drove home how rarely these kinds of conversations take place and how badly they’re needed. While the focus of her article is about choosing to have one child, the greater context is that you need to choose whatever family model is right for you. And that whatever you choose is okay. This is what resonated for me and I’m sure for her thousands of readers - because it’s a reassurance we don’t often receive. We’re faced with so much guilt and shame and fear around our reproductive choices, and then told we can’t talk about it. It’s time for that to change! In the hopes of opening up a dialogue, I’d like to share a little note on where I’m at with my motherhood journey. It’s interesting to call it that since I don’t have any children, but it feels appropriate to the process of understanding what motherhood means for me…

I always assumed I’d be a mother. When I was fifteen, my mom gave me a card with a beautiful line drawing of a pregnant woman with the quote, “I carried you under my heart for nine months, and in it every minute of every day ever since.” It hung on my wall for years and I used it as inspiration for a tattoo I designed that I imagined getting when I had a child. Seven years ago I witnessed the birth of my niece and it was one of the most profound experiences of my life. In fact, I was so affected by the experience, I felt called to get the tattoo I’d created. As a society, we’re so focused on having kids that belong to us that we rarely talk about the many other ways that one can ‘mother.’ I have always imagined children in my life, but it is only recently that I’ve started to wonder if that desire means that I need to give birth. I love being an aunt – taking Amy’s daughter to the Science Centre, having sleepovers, sharing my love of books. And she’s not the only child in my life – my stepsister has a young daughter and many of my friends are either pregnant or planning to have children. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and yet many families are separated from their support systems, making the ‘world’s hardest job’ that much harder. As someone without children, I have a lot more time and energy to help the parents in my life, an experience that I find deeply enriching.

I have no idea where this journey will end – whether I’ll decide I am fulfilled by my role as an aunt and godmother, or whether I’ll choose to have a child of my ‘own.’ And if I do, whether I’ll give birth, or adopt, or foster. Whether I’ll have one, or two or three or. . . What I do know, thanks to Leonie’s post and the support of the women I’ve talked to, is that I need to do what is right for me and that families come in all forms. As Leonie puts it, “Family is just about belonging. Belonging to our selves, belonging to each other, building bonds with our hearts.”

Kim & Amy Sedgwick love to discuss sex, periods, and all the other things we’re not supposed to talk about. The co-founders of Red Tent Sisters and ecosex.ca, they’ve been featured in every major Canadian news outlet and have become a trusted resource for women seeking natural (effective!) birth control, a more joyful sex life, and an empowered journey to motherhood.

Want more inspiration from the sisters? Join our mailing list for updates, articles, and special offers. Or, join the conversation on Facebook &Twitter.

Tagsdaughter, family, love, motherhood, self-reflection
  • Blog
  • Older
  • Newer
Kim & Amy Sedgwick love to discuss sex, periods, and all the other things we’re not supposed to talk about. The co-founders of  Red Tent Sisters , they’ve been featured in every major Canadian news outlet and have become a trusted resource for people seeking natural (effective!) birth control, a more joyful sex life, and an empowered journey to motherhood.

Kim & Amy Sedgwick love to discuss sex, periods, and all the other things we’re not supposed to talk about. The co-founders of Red Tent Sisters, they’ve been featured in every major Canadian news outlet and have become a trusted resource for people seeking natural (effective!) birth control, a more joyful sex life, and an empowered journey to motherhood.

Popular Posts
Menstrual Cups 101: How to Choose the Right One For You
Menstrual Cups 101: How to Choose the Right One For You
Libido Mismatch: 5 Things I've Learned About Navigating Sexual Desire In Relationships
Libido Mismatch: 5 Things I've Learned About Navigating Sexual Desire In Relationships
Our Top 5 Period-Tracking Apps
Our Top 5 Period-Tracking Apps
Five Books That Changed How We Feel About Being a Woman
Five Books That Changed How We Feel About Being a Woman
A Fertile Mindset: How the Law of Attraction and the Power of Surrender Can Help You Overcome Infertility
A Fertile Mindset: How the Law of Attraction and the Power of Surrender Can Help You Overcome Infertility
Withdrawal: A Sex Educator’s Take On How and When to Use the ‘Pull-Out’ Method
Withdrawal: A Sex Educator’s Take On How and When to Use the ‘Pull-Out’ Method

What can we help you with?

Birth Control.png
Health.png
Sexuality.jpg
Fertility.jpg
  • Coaching
  • Contraception
  • Eco Sex
  • Eco-Living
  • Fertility
  • Holistic Health
  • Menstruation
  • Natural Birth Control
  • Parenting
  • Relationships
  • Reproductive Health
  • Self-Help
  • Sexuality
  • Uncategorized

Instagram

Spending the day sending my Confidence Building Secrets course out into the world and sipping coffee from the same @goodvibestoys mug that was gifted to me when I first launched this program. #pleasureisyourbirthright
In 2017 I was deep in reflection mode thanks to my CTI coaching program. One of my many “aha” moments was that I had a tendency to avoid difficult conversations in my relationships. If I was hurt or angry, I’d keep it to myself or share it with everyone but my partner. Inevitably, those feelings would manifest as passive-aggressive behavior or lead to conversations that included accusations like, “you never”. In other words, I would make gross generalizations that of course put the other person on the defensive and guaranteed that what I was trying to express wouldn’t be received. I knew the importance of good communication but somehow that knowledge wasn’t translating into action. 
Drawing on what I’d learned from my training program, immersing myself in the work of people like Esther Perel, Brené Brown, and Harriet Lerner, and reflecting on my own coaching practice, I put together a framework for how I wanted to engage with my partner. The process poured out of me in one sitting. It’s what Amy and I like to call “channeling” – that feeling when an idea flows effortlessly. 
The framework is based on three general principles:

We don’t need to share everything in order to be authentic. There are some things that are better processed with a friend, a therapist/coach, or a journal. 
Be clear with yourself first about what you need to get out of the conversation. You can’t get what you don’t ask for.

There are three “people” in every relationship – you, your partner and the relationship. You’re not responsible for the other person and you can’t change their behavior. You can change how you show up in the relationship and that will have a ripple effect.

I’ve had the opportunity to “test” my framework several times with my new partner and all I can say is this sh*t makes a difference. It truly feels like the culmination of my career thus far and I can’t wait to share it with you all. I’m still fine-tuning and tweaking, but I know I’m on to something. Amy is holding me accountable and helping me turn this into what I know it is meant to be – a book. Until then, if you feel like communication is something that you would like coaching on, click the link in bio.
Enjoying a lie-down on our favourite lake. #silentlake #sistertime
Sister time! #leslieville #40thbirthday
facebook youtube pinterest instagram
  • Resources
  • FAQ
  • Privacy Policy
  • Search

Red Tent Sisters

Holistic Reproductive, Fertility & Sexuality Solutions

Kim & Amy Sedgwick are the Co-Founders of Red Tent Sisters, a business that has been providing holistic fertility, sexuality and contraceptive solutions since 2007. Amy is trained as a Holistic Reproductive Health Practitioner who specializes in helping women coming off the pill adopt natural, effective birth control using the Justisse Method. Kim runs their “sister” business, ecosex.ca (Canada’s first eco-friendly sexuality store) and coaches women who are ready to begin claiming and communicating their erotic desires. Together they provide support to women worldwide through their online courses, YouTube videos, and social media channels, and are known for their professional yet candid sisterly advice.

facebook youtube pinterest instagram