What's Your Libido Style? Responsive Vs. Spontaneous Desire

If you and your partner experience conflict over how often you're getting it on, the solution may lie in discovering and communicating your "desire style."

Concerns about libido mismatch are one of the most common sources of conflict in a relationship. It's rare for libidos to be perfectly matched, and even more rare for two people to both have "spontaneous desire" as their primary desire style (meaning both people just get in the mood at random).

In this episode of #redtentsisterstv, we discuss what the research says about responsive and spontaneous desire (based on the fantastic book, Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski). We cover:

  1. Which desire style is more common

  2. How responsive and spontaneous desire differ by gender (based on research done on cisgender folks)

  3. How libido may shift across the menstrual cycle

  4. Tips for identifying your style and communicating it to your partner

  5. How couples can alter their behaviour to accommodate for differences in spontaneous and responsive desire

 

Kim & Amy Sedgwick love to discuss sex, periods, and all the other things we’re not supposed to talk about. The co-founders of Red Tent Sisters, they’ve been featured in every major Canadian news outlet and have become a trusted resource for people seeking natural (effective!) birth control, a more joyful sex life, and an empowered journey to motherhood