A couple weeks ago we gave you a sneak peek inside our goodie drawer and shared our favourite toys and lubes. Revealing the intimate details of our sex lives on the internet was a bold move (we’re not going to lie, we took a deep breath before hitting ‘post’!) so we decided not to share details about what we use with our partners, acknowledging that they might not be as willing as we are to lay it all out on the line.
However, we received a number of messages from readers asking if we could share some suggestions about our favorite toys to use with male partners. We figured there must be a way to honour our partners’ privacy while also sharing some much needed info with our readers about what toys actually work for couples. Our solution? Kim has compiled a list of the top five toys (and lube) she has used with male partners over the last six years. Here we go!
Lelo Tor. This rechargeable cock ring has gone through a few incarnations. It started as the Bo, a single-speed vibe that honestly didn’t do too much for me, or my partner. Fortunately, they made some improvements and came out with the Tor, a multi-speed vibe that offers ample power. Unlike some vibrating penis rings, the Tor transfers vibration really well. Lots of the other toys in this category tend to offer intermittent stimulation – you only feel the vibration when the toy is actually pressed against your body (which isn’t really conducive to the in-and-out thrusting of intercourse). As a result, the vibration can be annoying more than anything. However, with the Tor I find the sensation is more constant (although you can still adjust the intensity). The other cool thing about this toy is that it can be used for solo play as well. I’ve had partners wear it while they’re masturbating with the toy turned down so it’s vibrating against the balls. So, the Tor is definitely one of my fave toys for partner play, and I’ve had nothing but good feedback from partners, both when we used it together and when they used it alone.
Pro-Touch. I’ve had a few partners who had reservations about anal play, mostly because they worried it would be messy or that it would hurt (if you follow some basic tips, it should never, ever hurt!) Anal play is a whole post unto itself, but for now I’ll focus on why certain toys have been a hit. For partners who were totally new to anal play, I’d usually start by introducing the Pro-Touch. It’s not much bigger than a finger so it’s not too intimidating, plus, the curve is ideal for prostate play and it has a one touch vibe for added stimulation. There are some guys I’ve dated that just weren’t down with trying anal play, but for those who were, the Pro-Touch was definitely a hit.
B-Bomb. Like the Pro-Touch, the B-Bomb has a one touch vibe but the shape of the actual toy is pretty different. For one thing, it’s significantly bigger, so it is never something I suggest right off the bat. Instead, for those guys that liked the Pro-Touch but wanted a little more, this was a natural ‘upgrade.’
Pjur. I’ll never forget giving a partner some Sliquid Organics to test for me. He used it once for masturbation and wrote me a message saying, “It’s great that it’s eco and all, but, um, I reapplied about ten times.” That was my first intro into why guys tend to stick with oil or silicone-based lubes – water-based doesn’t really cut it when you’re using a hand. So, I tend to have a bottle of Hathor on hand for use with a toy (you should always stick with water-based lubes when you’re using silicone toys) and a bottle of Pjur for manual stimulation.
Tango. Small, ‘bullet-style’ toys have been a staple with most of my partners. Because they easily fit in the palm of the hand, they make a great addition to intercourse without getting in the way. Like most women, I can’t orgasm from penetration alone so having a toy that provides clitoral stimulation makes a big difference. Plus, some of my partners have liked the sensation of vibration on the testicles or the shaft of the penis (and other guys found it way too sensitive – it all depends on personal preference!)
Kim & Amy Sedgwick love to discuss sex, periods, and all the other things we’re not supposed to talk about. The co-founders of Red Tent Sisters and ecosex.ca, they’ve been featured in every major Canadian news outlet and have become a trusted resource for women seeking natural (effective!) birth control, a more joyful sex life, and an empowered journey to motherhood.