Red Tent Sisters

As many of you know, the Grand Opening Party was a celebration of the community that built Red Tent Sisters. In an effort to share our gratitude with those who were unable to attend, we have posted our speeches below.

Kim's Speech:

When Amy and I were interviewed recently, we were asked to complete the sentence, “If I could be doing anything right now, I would be doing ________” Without pausing, Amy and I both answered “this.” It is strange to be so confident in our decision to open Red Tent Sisters, considering where we were last year . . .

This time last year, I was living in Amy and Jacob’s basement, and essentially had a job a week. There were the two days where I was a hostess at Sasssaz Fraz until I passed out from heat exhaustion (this was before it burned down) then I stood on the street asking for donations for the Canadian Cancer Society until a passer-by decided to spit on me, then I spent 6 months as a “fitness motivator” where I was forced to wake up before the sun and was consequently not very motivational, then I spent a few months as a teacher (without any qualifications) at an alternative school where the students were essentially the same age as me. Having had 18 jobs by the age of 23, many people (including myself) wondered if I would ever find a fulfilling career, or at least a career I could tolerate. And then there is Amy, who has so many interests, the idea of only pursing one seems unfathomable. This time last year, she was deciding between getting her masters, applying for journalism school, returning to her job at COTA, going back to Bridgepoint, finding another job entirely or home schooling her daughter. It’s really not surprising that many people had doubts that Red Tent Sisters would ever come to fruition. When Amy emailed me on Dec. 11 about a meeting to discuss our idea for Red Tent Sisters, part of me wondered whether this was just another one of our crazy ideas. But something felt different. I had been struggling throughout my undergrad to imagine what I was going to do with a degree in Women’s Studies and English. Sadly, the image of me as a Starbucks barrista seemed most probable. I assumed I would have a job in a rather unrelated field, and that I would fulfill my desire to help women on the side. I didn’t see how the two things could converge – how I could spend most of my time doing what I loved rather than trying to fit it into my spare time.

Another question that is frequently asked when we are interviewed is “what made you decide to create Red Tent Sisters?” On one hand this is the easiest and the hardest question to answer. It’s difficult because the answer seems obvious. What else would I do considering I asked my mother what a blow job was at the age of 8 and was surrounded by three older sisters who would discuss their sex lives at the dinner table, often to the horror of their partners. And then there was my love of books. I would often have read an entire novel by the time my parents got out of bed on Saturday morning and I recently noted that 70% of the boxes I have in storage contain books. There is no doubt that Amy and I inherited our father’s love of literature. While Amy and I grow up in a house where we felt comfortable discussing topics generally considered taboo, we were both aware that many people were not so fortunate. Our hope for Red Tent Sisters is that we create a space where women feel supported, safe and comfortable. Some women who visit us grew up as we did, but many women grew up feeling ashamed and disconnected from their body. There have been several instances in which women have been close to tears they are so moved by our vision; as one woman told Amy after reading that we offer post-abortion and miscarriage ceremonies, “you guys really get it.” Women’s lives are often compartmentalized but as our sister Emma so acutely sings “even you momma can wear stiletto boots. ” While many people at first seem surprised that we sell baby clothes and vibrators, they then realize it is not so strange; these products represent the multiplicity of women’s lives.

The response to Red Tent Sisters has been overwhelmingly positive. During the first few weeks, almost every person who came through the door welcomed us to the neighbourhood. Even the perpetually drunk patrons from the sleazy bar next door seem excited about our arrival. On a particularly windy day our sandwich board kept falling over and one of the guys sitting on the patio came in offering to fix it! Then there was the customer who had just finished baking a batch of muffins and insisted that Amy try one. We even had a pigeon fly into the store and hang out in the back room next to the vulva puppet. Whether female, male or bird, everyone seems to want to be a part of Red Tent Sisters.

We have been fortunate enough to have over six articles written on Red Tent Sisters. The Toronto Star wrote an article prior to Taste of the Danforth encouraging attendees to stop by our booth and purchase chocolate vaginas. It also managed to peak the interest of a woman living in Pickering who sent her husband in to purchase a “fun toy” for them to play with. Matt Brown wrote an article for Blog TO that began “A friend of mine . . . put it best: "how have you not visited Red Tent Sisters yet?" But it is the article in the local newspaper “etc. . . .news” that best captures the essence of Red Tent Sisters. Stephanie Hooker-McVeigh writes that with a “melange of services as diverse as women themselves, from baby signing to menopause and beyond – steeped in knowledge, wrought with passion, warmth and support – Red Tent Sisters is offering something that feels so natural it must be, well . . . natural.”

Amy will be speaking next and attempting to articulate our enormous gratitude to the community that built Red Tent Sisters, but I just want to take this opportunity to thank a person without whom none of this would be possible. This has been a difficult journey, and there were times I felt like giving up, but Amy’s belief in Red Tent Sisters, her belief in me, gave me the courage to believe this was possible.

Amy's Speech

Speech for Grand Opening

When Kim and I originally envisioned this party, one of the primary objectives we expected to accomplish was to officially and publicly thank the people who were instrumental in making Red Tent Sisters a reality. As the party drew nearer, we began to recognize the impossibility of this task, as you will too in a moment.

So, instead of calling people up here to thank them, I would like you to all indulge me for a moment in a little visualization exercise. Can we get the lights off please, and can we clear a small circle in the middle of the room?

I am now going to list off some of the ways in which Red Tent Sisters was supported to come to being. For every item I list, I will mention approximately how many people were involved in each aspect of support and I would like you to visualize a piece of wood – it can be a large log or a little twig – I leave that to your imaginary discretion – placed in the centre of the room.

To create our business plan, approximately a dozen friends, family and acquaintances assisted us by providing information about entrepreneurship, the various industries we would be working in, handing out market research surveys to clients and acquaintances, and providing editorial feedback about our document.

Two patient people spent many weeks helping us find a home for Red Tent Sisters.

When our bank loan was pulled out from under us and we were in financial crisis, half a dozen members of our immediate family came forward with financial loans ranging from $5 K to $ 40 K.

At that same time, another half dozen family members and close family friends came forward with financial gifts ranging from $50 to $15 000.

Over 100 men and women sent words of encouragement, love, support and solidarity that were priceless.

A single woman, with years of bank experience and genuine commitment to our vision, gave us a piece of advise that, combined with the priceless words of encouragement just mentioned, was the catalyst for us going back to the bank and eventually securing a $54 k loan.

When Red Tent Sisters had found its home here at 810 Danforth, another half dozen people contributed services in-kind to translating the vision of Red Tent Sisters into a reality by designing the space, the interior design, the logo and the marketing materials for Red Tent Sisters.

Two people contributed instrumental industry information to help us navigate the world of book publishing.

Two very special people created beautiful works of art for our new home which can be viewed in this room and in my office.

One woman helped us to keep all our finances in line so that we wouldn’t go bankrupt before even opening our doors.

The week before opening, another half dozen friends contributed over 25 hours of their time to mounting shelving, unpacking, pricing and labelling merchandise, vacuuming, cleaning floors, picking up marketing materials, designing our window display and putting up bathroom fixtures.

On the day of our grand opening, a close friend was kind enough to donate her time to baking us a Vagina cake, to help us celebrate the opening of our doors on what would otherwise have been a very quiet weekend.

The following week, one man spent virtually spent an entire week of his vacation solving our computer software, and hardware, problems.

The following weekend half a dozen friends donated their time to helping us man (or WOMAN) our booth at Taste of the Danforth. One friend in particular was exceptionally persuasive at getting people to buy chocolate vagina pops!

In the weeks that have followed, another half dozen family and friends have donated over 20 hours of their time to making door to door deliveries of our marketing material.

Two men, with whom Kim and I are intimately involved, provided hundreds of hugs, kisses, Kleenexes and words of trust, faith and belief over the past nine months.

This week, one man gave his time to helping us commemorate this occasion in song.

Today, a dozen people have contributed to providing food, wine, beverages, and entertainment.

Today, over 60 people have come to this party to help us celebrate the birth of Red Tent Sisters.

As you can clearly see, Red Tent Sisters is not here because of 2 people, or even because of 5 or 10. Kim and I lit the flame, but all of you truly built the fire.

Closing – Sing Along Led by Dad.