Red Tent Sisters

On December 13, two women braved the bad weather to join me for a discussion on December’s book club title, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters by Courtney E. Martin. We started by discussing the subtitle of the work, “the frightening new normalcy of hating your body.” We all agreed that although eating disorders are not a new phenomenon, what is new is the normalization of eating disorders. It has become standard for women (and girls) to count each calorie she consumes and for food to be associated with guilt and shame. Martin writes, “we live in a time when getting an eating disorder, or having an obsession over weight at the very least, is a rite of passage for girls.” Although only two of us knew anyone with a diagnosed eating disorder, we could all think of friends and/or acquaintances that obsess over their weight. One of the unique aspects of Martin’s work is her attention to those who do not fit the medical definition of anorexic or bulimic but whose relationship to food is nevertheless unhealthy. As a group we discussed whether the definition of “eating disorder” should be broadened to include these women. Our concern was that by doing so, those with more severe eating disorders might not get the intense treatment they needed. However, we agreed that a term should be coined to reflect the widespread obsession with weight that is affecting the lives of so many women in the hopes that it would become viewed as a problem to be addressed, rather than a norm to be accepted.

The first few chapters of Martin’s book touched all of us; I was in tears by page six. Like the author, I have read a number of books on eating disorders but never felt that the authors were able to fully articulate my own experience or that of my friends and family. Discussions on eating disorders often focus on the influence of “the media” but Martin writes that this argument is “too simplified and unconvincing on a personal level.” In contrast, the idea of the “perfect girl, starving daughter” articulated by Martin resonated with all three of us. Rather than seeing body image as an identity unto itself, Martin describes eating disorders as part of a larger phenomenon of women struggling to “do it all.” Not only are we trying to do it all, we want it to look effortless and perfect. Each of us could relate to the desire to achieve in all areas of our life – and the disappointment that inevitably follows.

# posted by Kim Sedgwick @ 5:05 PM